#reeses penis

[grimsneverendingfuneral]

my apologies if you’ve said this before but what are your ocs star signs (i know Nothing about star signs but interested because im a scorpio and have been told that’s bad maybe ??)

aww hello my dearest. thank you for your question on one of my fixations. i will now go crazy

ok, so i've created all of my OCs full birth charts, but i'm not gonna start on my astrologer shit now, so i'll give you their big threes

Jeff is an Aquarius sun, Leo rising, Capricorn moon. (asshole)

Lotus is Cancer sun, Libra rising, Pisces moon. (delusional)

Percy is Pisces sun, Capricorn rising, Libra moon (gay cunt)

Ren is Scorpio sun, Aquarius rising, Aries moon (little meow meow)

Fanny is Gemini sun, Scorpio rising, Taurus moon. (succubus)

Franky is Aries sun, Sagittarius rising, Scorpio moon. (cokehead)

Gretchen is Virgo sun, Pisces rising, Capricorn moon. (emo)

Nina is Taurus sun, Cancer rising, Gemini moon (insensitive)

Dawn is Capricorn sun, Taurus rising, Leo moon (cult leader)

Felix is Libra sun, Virgo rising, Leo moon (whore)

i wanna go on a tangent so bad because of the Scorpio thing you said... ok i will

don't let anyone, especially not reductive pop astrology stereotypes ever make you feel like a sign is bad. there's literally, logically no such thing. astrology is an ancient practice which is taken too literally at times and it irks me. it's a branch of astronomy, essentially. every day, the sky changes, and astrology just studies how that affects us, basically. from planetary transits to the phases of the moon, to asteroid trajectories and where the sun is positioned according to the horizon.

Scorpio is a polarizing sign, mostly due to its Plutonic influence. it's a sign under the ruler of Mars, the God of War, of passion, drive, spirit, anger, sex, and co-ruled by Pluto, the furthest planet in our solar system. secrets, the underworld, what motivates people, looking underneath the veil, into the dark, where no one else dares to take a look. it's a fixed water sign. if Pisces is the ocean and Cancer is a river, Scorpio is a vast lake. you can't see the bottom. it seems bottomless, but there is one, and it's hidden from the view of those who do not dare go towards it.

to yourself, you are both the immovable object and the unstoppable force. Scorpio is a sign that can sometimes trigger unhealed people, because it sees through them without really knowing it does. people can easily project on Scorpios, yes, because Scorpios are highly ambitious, highly cunning, very intelligent, like a sharp blade. but you guys are also the people who love the strongest, the deepest. your hearts are truly too damn big for your own good sometimes. you have a hard time knowing when to give up. you are driven by your dreams, by something bigger. you feel as though your life is not your own sometimes, because your theme is transformation. the animal of the Scorpio is both the phoenix, which rises from the ashes, and the Scorpion, who would rather sting itself than let you kill it. you want to be in control of your destiny.

i think Scorpios get a bad rep because they're intense in the way they interact with the world. with everything. there's always a dash of pure energy being lazered down into whatever they're doing or whoever they're with. you need secure people in your life. people who know themselves. Scorpio is by far not a bad sign, and no sign is. it's a beautiful thing, being a Scorpio. it's hard, but it pays off if you learn to radically accept yourself and know that you can't control how people are going to perceive you. just do you, and the right ones will see you. freak 4 freak type shit

i, for one, fuckin love Scorpios. if that makes you feel better. i have a lot in my life, always have. you guys need some tenderness, is all. just a hug. fingers running through your hair. people make you out to be these overly complicated, mysterious beings when you really just want what we all do. just some understanding, some lovin.

[lifeinpoetry]

and isn’t that what queerness is? to think of someone else’s suffering even while you are suffering, to circumvent their pain even while you slog through yours—

— Ollie Schminkey, from "Reese’s Penis Butter Cups," Dead Dad Jokes

[seveneyesoup]

they shouldn’t be allowed to advertise products i already know about. i’m even fine w ads for products idk about from companies i do. if mt dew makes an ad for mountain dew evil mode, their new flavor, i now know about a product and can decide if i wanna purchase it - the point of an advertisement. but why are they informing me of regular mountain dew. i already know about it i’m not gonna magically want it bc you show me an ad

[stalkish-shellos]

Eating popcorn and candy for lunch

[waterloggedsoliloquy]

mutual 1: sorry the update for my webcomic this week is a bit late! i really had to rush it so it prolly looks really sloppy lol [some of the most sophisticated comic art ive ever seen]

mutual 2: call me uterine lining the way astarions cervix got me bleeding profusely

mutual 3: do you think nanowrimo will give me a posthumous pity publishing deal if i mention it in my suicide note

mutual 4: okay fine i finally started revolutionary girl utena

mutual 5: does columbo know the service he did for butch lesbians. for all of us

mutual 6: wish you were here [blurry picture set of conifer woods in early autumn evening, taken as if frantically running down a winding trail]

mutual 4: im pretty hardy i dont need the trigger list but thanks for looking out for me guys

mutual 7: good morning lovelies another day the wizard tried to best me and another day i successfully locked him in the spare bathroom lol hope u like drinking shampoo fucker

mutual 8: here is a zip of every yuri manga scan i have and here is a backup in case i get dcma'd. the himejoshi lifestyle will never die

mutual 9: i wish i could go back in time to the shinzo abe assassination and ask to hold the doohickey

mutual 10: here's my essay on how wanting to be loved is the same as wanting to be eaten. three paragraphs in you'll find out that this is 100% tied to an obscure beauty and the beast manga i've been reading lately and how much i want to fuck the beast

mutual 4: oh thats why there was the trigger list.

mutual 11: YOU CAN'T LOCK ME IN THIS BATHROOM FOREVER

mutual 12: why do i have to defend my thesis to people i dont even respect. im not dickriding you just give me the degree

mutual 13: its just me and this scab ive picked into my scalp against the world

mutual 14: my little dragon got glazed and is ready to go into the kiln! everyone wish him good luck!

mutual 3: nvm i am a beautiful genius. perhaps the most beautiful genius of all

mutual 15: i think we should give david lynch rpgmaker and whatever happens happens

mutual 16: kpeyboaatrds brpokem gpuys

mutual 17: also heres my work in progress glossary of mixtec words! i still have a long way to go but i love being able to preserve my roots even in this small way

mutual 4: i just finished the black rose arc. question: what

mutual 18: i need emet-selch to be my wife

mutual 19: i need glados to be my husband

mutual 20: visited the ocean today!!! <3 beach pics!!! there is a darkness growing within me

mutual 21: the forms for my legal name change came in. pls vote in this poll of what my middle name should be: Dill Pickle (Dickle for short), Optimus Prime, Tumblr User Gorgonicteratologist, Smeve

mutual 22: just finished my 100th book of the year! this weeks read was the uses of enchantment by the psychologist bruno bettelheim,

mutual 23: reeses penis butter cups lol

mutual 4: i need to hunt akio for sport

mutual 24: oouugghhrgh. hot. dog.

mutual 25: your favorite character or fictional other would want you to brush your teeth and wash your face so you're well rested and wake up feeling refreshed! make them proud!

mutual 26: being a delivery driver isnt the worst job ive ever had but i do keep wondering what itd be like to drive off into the wild blue yonder one day and not come back

mutual 27: weird dog? [phone picture of critically endangered stork]

mutual 28: i think the two phone line polls in front of my house are having a lovers tryst. no way to prove it tho

mutual 4: WHAT

mutual 29: while you bitches are balduring your gates or finalling those fantasies im doing what a REAL gamer does. playing a b tier rpg that came out in 2004 for the 18th time

mutual 30: ^ real. hamtaro ham ham heartbreak is a masterpiece of interactive art. im not even going to call it a video game at this point

mutual 4: THAT'S HOW IT ENDS?! ANTHY?

mutual 31: can you help me pick which drawing looks better: 34% overlay or 36% soft light?

mutual 32: new video essay out. its called disability in video game narratives: final fantasy 14's most reliable fault. i churned the script out over an all-nighter and my mic crapped out halfway through but by god i did it

mutual 33: my new zine bundle is out! if you buy it you also get a discount on all my game jam games! i really cant wait for you to play them!

mutual 4: yall should watch revolutionary girl utena

[fallenclan]

does anyone even get the reeses penis butter cups reference. it was like 100 moons ago atp (fucked up)

First Prev Next

[wingsdippedingold]

Stop naming children after your fictional crushes

Who the fuck thinks its a good idea to name their child after smut??? THATS A CHILD. Take your weird erotic crushes somewhere else. Like you read about that man's penis and then you name your son after him??? That's like naming your kid Christian because you wish you were Anastasia. At least name him Reese or something. This is worse than celebs naming their kids slim easy I'm looking at you lucky blue scott and nara smith

[grawly]

eating a Reese’s penis butter cup ama

[ghostincorrectinternetedition]

Dew: I started up Destiny 2 yesterday and burst into tears laughing because I forgot that I set my Steam name to “Reeses Penis Butter Cups”, and instead of censoring “penis” it did this: “Reeses Penis ****er Cups”. It censored the “butt” in “butter”. This game is rated M!

Swiss: Welcome back, Mr. Reeses Penis Fucker Cups.

[pixies-love-envy]

Chapter 4: March

The larpers are staring daggers at me because I’m tearing apart their D&D fantasy with my modern clothes, so Cricket takes me to our room a few minutes later. I didn’t need an escort, but she offered, and I had already turned her down when she asked to buy me a drink. She has to leave me here because she says she has to finish the last hour of her shift. I have absolutely no idea what I’m going to do here. The only things I brought in from my car were my keys, my phone, and its charger. Our room definitely doesn’t have a TV; it’s so tiny that I’m surprised they managed to fit a full-sized bed in it. I take a few steps around the room and trip over a decorative barrel. They’ve tried to keep up with the medieval theme. I can’t speak to the accuracy of any of the decorations, but the barrel really irks me. I think it’s supposed to serve as a nightstand, but it takes up thirty percent of the room, and it tripped me, so I think it's dumb and decide to sleep on the side of the bed that’s flush to the wall. I should sleep on that side anyway, so Cricket doesn’t feel trapped in our bed tonight. There’s a low hum coming from the barrel. It’s Reese calling; I can’t believe I forgot to call the boys and tell them I’m alright!

“I promise you guys I’m not dead!”

“We know, Jackass. We have your location.”

“We just wanted to know if you’ve slayed any dragons yet,” bursts Dorian.

I swear they spend their nights looking for reasons to mess with me. “Oh, shut up. I have done exactly zero larping tonight.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.” Reese says, “But have you met any fair maidens?” I hear them chuckle loudly, and I wish I were there laughing with them.

“No fair maidens yet, but I did invite a bar wench up to my room,” I tell them, trying to sound nonchalant.

“A bar wench! Fucking hilarious! I love it when you entertain our nonsense.”

“Reese, you know indulging in your bullshit is my life's greatest joy. However, this time, I’m literally sharing a room with the bartender.”

“Oh, shit!” Dorian and Reese shout in unison.

“Is she pretty?” asks Dorian, “Bar wench doesn’t sound pretty.”

“She’s gorgeous: Golden brown skin, dark eyes, shocking yet flattering platinum blonde dreadlocks, and she’s super confident, which I find rather frightening.”

“Interesting. She sounds more like our type, no? What with her not having a penis and all that.”

“First of all, penis is optional! I love everyone, and beautiful is beautiful, Dorian! But she’s only in my room because she has nowhere to stay.” I don’t know if they have trouble with the concept of bisexuality or if they struggle with me specifically being bisexual. Maybe they’re afraid it’s genetic. Almost everything but our personalities are the same. Personally, I think when we split into three different embryos, they were deprived of anything queer, but who am I to say. What I do know is that Cricket would still be in my room tonight if she were unattractive.

Too Sweet Masterlist

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

I’m gonna add a lot more to this chapter but that’s for me to write and you to figure out when you buy my published book

Update: I’m posting the rest of the story on Wattpad as I complete them

Looking for FEEDBACK on my first few chapters. They are really short and are easy reads. Any feedback is welcome. Tell me about anything you think can be improved upon or anything that you liked. Comment on the prose or the dialogue. Literally anything that comes to mind that can help.

@frostedlemonwriter @yourpenpaldee @mundanemoongirl @arrowmoose

[based--ball]

I told my lovely non-baseball-fan friends about the reese mcguire dollar tree parking lot at 2pm on a Friday situation and now that's the only baseball thing they ever remember pretty much. They know that vladdy and bo cannot be separated, they know that there are bald people sometimes (varsho mostly), and they know about the state of reese mcguire's penis in that parking lot. That was a mistake to tell them I think however it is also funny

[chaoswithcausation]

typical “character a visits b’s grave” of the “b’s ghost is listening” variety, but they are Not on the same wavelength

Character A: Things still aren’t the same without you. I feel like if I make one wrong move, everything will fall apart.

Character B, fully aware by now that nobody can hear them: wow that Sucks. have you tried eating a Snickers

Character A: Honestly, at this point… I kind of wish it would. That’s probably pretty selfish of me, wanting everything to go to hell just to be free of it.

Character B, who’s already heard this whole spiel before and is bored of it: penis blast delirious, penis blast mysterious, penis blast. uh. Hmm

Character A: I’m just so sick of feeling like the world’s on my shoulders all the time!

Character B: bi-curious! Penis blast bi-curious, penis blast… augh. I give up.

Character A: I don’t know how much more I can take of everyone unloading all their problems on me… heh, kind of like I’m doing to you, I guess.

Character B: Reese’s puffs Reese’s puffs, eat ‘em up eat ‘em up eat ‘em up eat ‘em up

Character A: I’ll leave you to your rest now. Sorry for disturbing you, and… thanks for listening, if you’re there.

Character B: (yelling after A) Make your next listener a therapist! Or at least somebody who has enough life in them to care!

[criminalizegolf]

PEOPLE I WANNA KNOW BETTER

sorry it took forever for me to get to this! Tagged by @mrman247

LAST SONG

Washin' + Wonderin' by Stroke 9 super underrated song, I can't remember where I first heard it!

FAVORITE COLOR

dark green but I'm also partial to blue and yellow!!

CURRENTLY WATCHING

I don't really watch much TV but my boyfriend and I have been watching Phineas and Ferb

LAST MOVIE

Bottoms (2023) fucking phenomenal, 11/10

SWEET/SPICY/SAVORY

Sweet 100% I'm always a slut for some dessert

RELATIONSHIP STATUS

I've been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years now!! (I'm lowkey trying to marry that guy but shhh nobody say nothing)

CURRENT OBSESSIONS

It's hockey season again babey!!! I'm also in the middle of baldurs gate 3 (impeccable game having a fucking blast) and I'm replaying Halo!

LAST THING I GOOGLED

"was Reese in mitm queercoded" I saw it in a post on here and was desperate for it to be true, my bf and I watched the show last year and I had Suspicions the whole time

Lemme just tag

@takemetotheastralagain @hamfistedbunvendor @penismage (I have been reading your url as "penis image" this whole time)

@dsmsix

@oracleofselfies

@thetruthof

[funeraldisco]

Reese’s penis butter cup

[fallenclan]

in the subject of reese’s penis butter cups, i found the old panel of i forget who telling their mate “your penis did this to me” surrounded by kits from when i showed it to my partner lmao.

one of my fav moons, up there is holesong

-🪼 (#1 holesong fan)

imagining someone showing my art to another person in real life is going to make my skin all fall off. btw

[sanjidysphoria]

reeses penis butter cup